


Fionna

by Phantisocial



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), youtube - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Cuddling, Cute Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Other, Periods, Phan - Freeform, Self Harm, They/Them, Transsexual, hurt!phil, lgbtq+, phil has a panic attack, transgender character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 09:59:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4662426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantisocial/pseuds/Phantisocial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You listen to me, Philip Michael Lester. What's in your trousers doesn't define you; I love you for who you are. What's down there doesn't matter to me; I'm always going to love you, no matter how you identify."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fionna

He's woken to the sounds of great heart wrenching sobs from his boyfriend next time and fuck that's all he wants to do is turn back over and go back to sleep but he can't. The concern for his boyfriend always wins over and always would. 

"Phil?" He slurs out into the darkness of the room, fumbling around the bedside table for his phone. He presses the torch instantly, his hands slightly shaky in his haste to find out what was wrong with his boyfriend. He winces at the sharp brightness of the light before he turns the phone towards where his boyfriend should be and gasps slightly. 

When Phil's upset he usually wakes him up and lets himself be comforted or at least placated. "Phil," he calls out again, wondering if Phil's going to come back to bed anytime soon so he could comfort him. 

He hates seeing his boyfriend like this. Phil was uually so positive and bubbly, a silver lining to Dan's grey clouds and stormy skies. Optimism and happiness for life had became Phil over the years and Dan was so entirely in love with everything his boyfriend did. 

He crawls out of the bed tiredly, his feet slipping across the floor as he scuttles somewhat blindly towards the sounds of the cries. 

He follows the noises of distress and anguish towards the bathroom, his hears picking up on the sounds of Phil's panicked and frantic breaths. He knocks softly on the door to the bathroom, wondering if Phil was going to let him in or not. 

"Phil," he murmers through the door before he pulls the knob of the door open gently, suprised when the door opens immediately. 

"Philly, what happened- oh," he cuts off at the sight of Phil bent over the toilet, clutching his stomach. Something sharp next to him that from the distance between them he can't distinguish. 

He drops to his knees instantly, pulling Phil into his chest as he tries to think of what to say. "What's the matter, beautiful," he whispers into the crook of Phil's neck.

Phil pushes him off immediately, "you can't touch me," he gasps out anxiously, wringing his hands and pulling his knees to his chest. He places his hands on Phil's shoulders, unsure of what to do or what to say. Phil doesn't usually get this bad. Sometimes he's prone to freaking out and panic attacks but those he can cope with, he knows how to calm Phil down from those. He knows exactly what calming words to whisper, how to lower his pitch softly and how tightly to hold his boyfriend in hi arms. 

"Why can't I touch you, baby," he breathed out, deliberately keeping his voice calm and quiet. 

"Don't call me that! I'm not yours, I'm not your anything," Phil screams out, his fists clenched angrily. He knows he should take offence at the words but he realises instantly what's happening. 

"You're my boyfriend and I love you Philly, of course you're mine." Dan makes sure to put extra emphasis on the "boyfriend" part. 

"You're my boyfriend and my best friend. You're the person next to me in life and I'm always going to love you, Philly. You're never going to have to deal with this alone," he whispers as he routes into the medince cupboard for that essential item. He doesn't feel awkward about in the slightest because this is down thing that Phil needs - it's just another way that shows Phil is Phil and he thinks that's the best fucking thing anyone could ever aspire to be. 

He finally pulls them out with a flourish and undoes the pads before leaving the room for a moment for Phil to do what needs to be done. He waits until he inevitably hears it again - the sobs building up and that's his cue to push into the room once more. 

"I'm a fucking girl Dan," Phil screams at him and he wants to hit every person that's told Phil that he's not a boy because of what anatomy he was born with. 

He sits down next to Phil again and this time Phil let's him hold him, his sobs racking out onto Dan's chest. "You're the most handsome boy I've ever seen, Philly," he starts as he notices the blade that's by the side of Phil. 

"Philly, is there anything you want to tell me?" He asks cautiously and he's met with a muffled sob and two hands clutching tighter at his shirt. 

Phil is transgender - something he's know since they started dating and Phil came into his room and screamed that he wanted to be referred to as Phil not Fionna and that he was a boy not a girl. He never really questioned it much, he loves Phil for who he is and not what's in his trousers. 

"I slipped up Dan," Phil whispered tinily as his sobs somewhat quieten. "I woke up and I felt it- Oh God I felt it and my stomach was churning and all I could think about was that boys don't have periods and so I'm not a boy. But I am Dan! I'm a boy, I've always been a boy..." 

Dan understands, he truly does but it hurts him so much to watch his boyfriend cut his delicate skin because he's afraid of who he is. "Philly? You use he's and male pronouns don't you?"

Phil barely nods and instead cuddles into him closer, allowing himself to be comforted. 

"Then therefore / you are a boy and that all that matter," he whispers with finality, rocking his boyfriend in his arms as he hears Phil's sobs die down. They sit there for a good half an hour, Dan whispering continuously how handsome Phil is. How he's never known a boy as perfect as Phil- how as long as Phil is comfortable then he is happy and how Phil is going to be having the surgery and transitioning really soon.

"I got blood on the sheets," Phil's whispers apologetically and he just nods encouragingly and understandingly because the blood is nothing. He can get rid of the blood in the washing machine and right now he just wants to comfort his boyfriend. 

He rummages through the cupboard again for their first aid box and pulls out antiseptic wipes before he pulls Phil's arm to him. "I love you," he assures as he wipes the dried blood of of his boyfriends wrists. Being deliberately careful not to hurt his boyfriend at all. 

"Your gender and who you are is not determined by what you were born with," he states in a voice that had no tone for arguing. 

He bandages the top side of Phil's wrist up and presses a small kiss to the fabric, "I love you for who you are, and you are Philip Michael Lester, and you are my boyfriend who I love despite any odds," he whispers and that is that. 

He smiles warmly and pulls Phil up before he carries him into the lounge and puts on a Disney film and then returns with ice cream and pain killers. "For the cramps and hormones," he explains at Phil's questioning look and pulls his boyfriend onto him so that he can rub Phil's stomach soothingly.

"I love you, bear," Phil whispers contently as he shuts his eyes from the relaxing circles Dan was making on his skin. 

"As I love you, lion," he whispers back and in that moment they are well. They are in love and that is all that matters because Dan loves Phil and Phil loves Dan. No matter how Phil identifies; they are in love and that is perfect.


End file.
